When I woke Up

When I woke up, you seemed clearer than you had ever been my whole life. No longer did they anger me but I think that was because I was no longer seeking warmth or understanding from them anymore. I had all my answers in front me and no one could deny the truth that was facing me. I was not sad or angry at them for the things they had done, and my whole life was no longer a tale of victimization symptoms. My whole life up to that point was a life devoid of your presence, You saved me again and again and again even when I didn't choose you first. It was a love that came with no risks of disappointment, and I had no idea how to deal with that. But you quickly showed me that they is nothing I did to deserve it , I simply did because of your goodness.

So when I woke up I stood in awe of you.

When I woke up , I was filled with a love that had no emotion or word to describe just the tears and chants of my soul alive in worship. A love that gave me confidence. A love that made me give love. A love that brought an end to my identity warfare. No longer did I question who I was , or Where I was to go; I simply followed and worked as a bee in the sweetness that is the Kingdom of God. You took them away, all of them ; those who hindered the clarity and intercession I needed to embark on this journey. Those that brought pain you took away.

So when I woke up I just stood in awe of you.

And now I shout everywhere of the wonders that is to experience this love. Do you know this love? A love that heals. A love that fills that space, the space we run from our whole lives, the one we inherited through traumas and vexed parenting from parents who we forget are just like us. Just trying to figure it out. And now my only regret is I wish I knew you sooner, I wish I listened to your messenger when he beckoned me in my sleep. I don't know why I write and sometimes I think I'm not even that good to ask you to spare two minutes to get a front row seat on who I am. But when He woke me up, I cant not speak of the light I experience because of His majesty. And I want you all to know it, to live it and share it.

When I woke Up I felt love.

Thank you Abba.