God’s chisel 🤍

Recently you have made it clear to me that I am a consumer and not a servant, I am ashamed of this fact. I am ashamed because to be a consumer means that elements of my belief and my relationship with you are based on fear , fear of hell or not being blessed and sometimes fear that you may depart from me. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I do not want to believe  in you because I am scared and neither do I want to say I love you because I’m scared of what would happen if I don’t. I want to believe and love you God because of who you are and what your word says. It has broken my heart and I can’t stop crying because when I think of how selfish the position I have been operating from, I am ashamed of myself. All you have ever done is love me, bless me, saved me and forgiven me when I have tormented myself in the shadows of my unworthiness.

After this you spoke of control, to chisel and break the parts of me that are not pleasing whilst still shaping me to your likeness and the likeness of your son Jesus. This is painful, it is so painful because you are breaking everything that I am and that scares me -what will you find as you chisel or what will be left when you are done. This is the surrender- it is me standing as you go around me with a chisel and a hammer, and you hit and hit and hit and hit. And I cry and I cry, and I cry for what feels like it will never end.

I cannot guide your hammer or tell you where to chisel. I must stand and let go of my will and wail for strength to endure the surrender. You promised strength in your word and you said your word is never wrong. I let go God, have your way. Even as I do this, I must be honest it is hard because some of the parts that you are breaking are parts that I like - even when I know they aren’t according to your will.

Being a child of God is the best decision you will ever make - you are promised love and peace and forgiveness and blessings and abundance beyond your imagination. But to be useful for God to do His work -that is a journey that is humbling and painful and sacrificial in every capacity to become more in His likeness, the journey is so that you may be able to look in the mirror and see His son and not that person who you hate. He is faithful and He complete everything He starts - so don’t give up in the race, don’t sprint or stop to check where everyone is keep looking forward for victory belongs to Him , to Elohim alone.

To everyone who may read this at whatever place you are and whatever you may be feeling, the Lord is near - make Him your friend.♥️

Penzi tele,

Stacey Wambui.